The opposite of rape culture is nurturance culture Nora Samaran
The opposite of masculine rape culture is masculine nurturance culture: men* increasing their capacity to nurture, and becoming whole.
Long article referencing Attachment Theory
Everyone needs to love and be loved -- even men. But to know love, men must be able to look at the ways that patriarchal culture keeps them from knowing themselves, from being in touch with their feelings, from loving. In The Will to Change, bell hooks gets to the heart of the matter and shows men how to express the emotions that are a fundamental part of who they are -- whatever their age, marital status, ethnicity, or sexual orientation.
Wanted: Men Who Love bell hooks ; filmsforaction.org ; Feb 25, 2015
Page also contains excerpt from The Will To Change book
In an excerpt from a speech about his new book The Shepherd’s Hut, the author says it is men who need to step up and liberate boys from the race, the game, the fight
Why I'm done trying to be "man enough" Julian Baldoni; TED women; Nov 2017
Justin Baldoni wants to start a dialogue with men about redefining masculinity -- to figure out ways to be not just good men but good humans. In a warm, personal talk, he shares his effort to reconcile who he is with who the world tells him a man should be. And he has a challenge for men: "See if you can use the same qualities that you feel make you a man to go deeper," Baldoni says. "Your strength, your bravery, your toughness: Are you brave enough to be vulnerable? Are you strong enough to be sensitive? Are you confident enough to listen to the women in your life?"
Power in Vulnerability Mark Manson
When most men hear the word “vulnerability,” their immediate reaction is to associate it with weakness. In general, men are raised to withhold their emotions, to not show weakness, and to ignore any hint of introspection. On top of that, most of the popular pickup advice out there encourages guys to be aloof, stand-offish, judgmental, and at times scathing towards women.
...making yourself vulnerable doesn’t just mean being willing to share your fears or insecurities. It can mean putting yourself in a position where you can be rejected, saying a joke that may not be funny, asserting an opinion that may offend others, joining a table of people you don’t know, telling a woman that you like her and want to date her. All of these things require you to stick your neck out on the line emotionally in some way. You’re making yourself vulnerable when you do them.
In this way, vulnerability represents a form of power, a deep and subtle form of power. A man who’s able to make himself vulnerable is saying to the world, “I don’t care what you think of me; this is who I am, and I refuse to be anyone else.” He’s saying he’s not needy and that he’s high status.
The fear that lies behind aggressive masculinity George Monbiot; The Guardian; 16 Jan 2019
Why do so many men love Jordan Peterson and hate the Gillette ad? If they’re truly strong they don’t need to prove their virility
We Believe: The Best Men Can Be Gillette; YouTube; 13 Jan 2019
Boys Leaning In Jonathon Reed; Medium; 17 Jan 2019
Three stories from a boys program facilitator
I work directly with boys on gender and masculinity. During school, I facilitate gender-transformative boys programs with Next Gen Men. In the summer, I coordinate a positive masculinities program at Camp Arowhon. Throughout the year, I create a podcast on boys’ inner lives called Breaking the Boy Code.
I’m writing this in order to shine the spotlight on boys engaging in topics like homophobia, misogyny and mental health. The boys I work with are eager to define their masculinity with more authenticity, more integrity and compassion. This is what that looks like.